Tangled Up In Lace

Showing posts tagged body image
unapologeticfatty: Jessica is my fatspiration.  I wore this bikini to the lake today. Majestic has been working and going to school full time so we don’t get as much QT as we used to and when we’re spread thin (ha), we regenerate in nature. The thing is, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I’m shedding my uterine lining and my idea of “going into nature” doesn’t ever involve (or rather, I’d prefer if it didn’t) thin white insecure teenaged girls.  But today it did.  Normally, I’d do what I do best. Sitting in unflattering positions, eating passionately and aggressively and deflecting everyone’s poor self image are my strong suits.(right next to fucking, tying a pretty bow and swearing) I like to incite and I love to be seen in my fat bawdy. It reminds me I’m alive….surviving and thriving. but like I said before, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I haven’t gotten intentional time with my Lover and I’m on my motherfucking period. Today was not the goddamn day.  Watching a couple different flocks of thin teenage girls whisper to each other and then stare at two magical creatures such as myself and my beautiful wife with a look like they’d smelled a ripe fart filled me with a fiery rage. Fat people can’t just fucking go to the lake and move their bodies in public without repercussions. The majority of thin people CAN.  Now, because this is not my first rodeo and I do not want anyone to get it twisted, I want everyone to read my words carefully and I really want thin folks to GET REAL with themselves right now. I know the thin folks who read my blog make some serious attempts at becoming more body positive and I know you all try to think more critically about the ways in which you participate in a culture that is out to kill me. I know a lot of thin folks in my real life care about me, love me and even find my devilishly good looks to be quite captivating. So when I talk about my feelings and real experiences, I do not want to hear about how you’re not the bad guy and how you don’t appreciate my anger. I don’t care Today I took the countless stares, whispers and upset faces personally. Instead of challenging them, I started to shake with unadulterated rage and huffed off. I moved our blanket and snacks to a secluded inlet of the lake and sulked.  When Majestic and I started to process my feelings, I told them the reason I feel unsafe around thin folks at the beach was about me 1. seeing their fucking faces when they look at me and 2. remembering what it was like to hate my body and the gross awful things I thought about people then. Worse, the things I was encouraged by my peers to say and think about people and the way we bonded over mean and hurtful feelings like it would keep us satisfied until we allowed ourselves a small portioned diet meal. I told Majestic that thin people are thinking a few different things about my body and I don’t like any of them. Are they disgusted beyond belief? Are they sad for me and my pitiful fat existence? Are they just staring because my body has become so abject and such a spectacle that they’re just interested in knowing what it looks like that unclothed? Are they scared about what my body makes them think about their bodies?  Majestic said, “They’re uncomfortable. They want you to be invisible, but you refuse. It would be easier for them if you hid, but you won’t and that’s upsetting.” So maybe some of them are thinking about how ~*brave*~ I must be and that’s supposed to quell my upset over all the other thoughts they could be thinking.  As if them thinking its brave to have such a revolting body and still put on bathing suit and enjoy a swim just like them is a comforting thought. But it is brave to know your body is scary and that people want to destroy it, but that it’s yours and you love it and you made the radical decision not to deny yourself a dip in a lake on a hot day or an ice cream cone or a lover who respects you.  Because I know it’s hard to be a teenage girl and if I thought they’d listen, I’d sit down with every last one of them and tell them I remember what it was like to be them and that I know what it’s like to carry that venom inside you.  Because as much as I want to tell the world how they hurt themselves by hating me, I really just want to fucking float around in the cool water like everyone else but you don’t want that for me And tomorrow’s just another day for me to be fat in your face and if that’s hard for you, TOO FUCKING BAD High-res

unapologeticfatty:

Jessica is my fatspiration. 

I wore this bikini to the lake today.

Majestic has been working and going to school full time so we don’t get as much QT as we used to and when we’re spread thin (ha), we regenerate in nature.

The thing is, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I’m shedding my uterine lining and my idea of “going into nature” doesn’t ever involve (or rather, I’d prefer if it didn’t) thin white insecure teenaged girls. 

But today it did. 

Normally, I’d do what I do best. Sitting in unflattering positions, eating passionately and aggressively and deflecting everyone’s poor self image are my strong suits.(right next to fucking, tying a pretty bow and swearing) I like to incite and I love to be seen in my fat bawdy. It reminds me I’m alive….surviving and thriving.

but like I said before, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I haven’t gotten intentional time with my Lover and I’m on my motherfucking period.

Today was not the goddamn day. 

Watching a couple different flocks of thin teenage girls whisper to each other and then stare at two magical creatures such as myself and my beautiful wife with a look like they’d smelled a ripe fart filled me with a fiery rage.

Fat people can’t just fucking go to the lake and move their bodies in public without repercussions. The majority of thin people CAN. 

Now, because this is not my first rodeo and I do not want anyone to get it twisted, I want everyone to read my words carefully and I really want thin folks to GET REAL with themselves right now.

I know the thin folks who read my blog make some serious attempts at becoming more body positive and I know you all try to think more critically about the ways in which you participate in a culture that is out to kill me. I know a lot of thin folks in my real life care about me, love me and even find my devilishly good looks to be quite captivating.

So when I talk about my feelings and real experiences, I do not want to hear about how you’re not the bad guy and how you don’t appreciate my anger. I don’t care


Today I took the countless stares, whispers and upset faces personally. Instead of challenging them, I started to shake with unadulterated rage and huffed off. I moved our blanket and snacks to a secluded inlet of the lake and sulked. 

When Majestic and I started to process my feelings, I told them the reason I feel unsafe around thin folks at the beach was about me 1. seeing their fucking faces when they look at me and 2. remembering what it was like to hate my body and the gross awful things I thought about people then. Worse, the things I was encouraged by my peers to say and think about people and the way we bonded over mean and hurtful feelings like it would keep us satisfied until we allowed ourselves a small portioned diet meal.

I told Majestic that thin people are thinking a few different things about my body and I don’t like any of them. Are they disgusted beyond belief? Are they sad for me and my pitiful fat existence? Are they just staring because my body has become so abject and such a spectacle that they’re just interested in knowing what it looks like that unclothed? Are they scared about what my body makes them think about their bodies? 


Majestic said, “They’re uncomfortable. They want you to be invisible, but you refuse. It would be easier for them if you hid, but you won’t and that’s upsetting.”

So maybe some of them are thinking about how ~*brave*~ I must be and that’s supposed to quell my upset over all the other thoughts they could be thinking. 

As if them thinking its brave to have such a revolting body and still put on bathing suit and enjoy a swim just like them is a comforting thought.

But it is brave to know your body is scary and that people want to destroy it, but that it’s yours and you love it and you made the radical decision not to deny yourself a dip in a lake on a hot day or an ice cream cone or a lover who respects you. 

Because I know it’s hard to be a teenage girl and if I thought they’d listen, I’d sit down with every last one of them and tell them I remember what it was like to be them and that I know what it’s like to carry that venom inside you. 

Because as much as I want to tell the world how they hurt themselves by hating me, I really just want to fucking float around in the cool water like everyone else but you don’t want that for me

And tomorrow’s just another day for me to be fat in your face and if that’s hard for you, TOO FUCKING BAD

(Source: tangledupinlace)

(Photo reblogged from unapologeticfatty)

whorecruxed asked: HI Jessica! I've been a longtime follower of you and Majestic and think you two are awesome. So I'm 14 and today my mom was really getting on me about losing weight (she does this every week, even though I'm not technically overweight- maybe five or ten pounds, but no matter) and it really gets on my nerves because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for my family because they're all sticks, even though I love my curves... I don't know what to do!! Make them happy or be myself?

First, I’m sorry your mom is putting her body issues on you, that is REALLY hard for anyone, but especially a 14yr old socialized as a girl.

Second, there’s no such thing as overweight! There’s no perfect/ideal weight a person should actually be (I know but it’s true!) and even if there were a perfect weight, 5-10lbs is literally nothing. Alsoooo, if you’re happy with yourself, it doesn’t matter what your weight is!

Third, (numbering this seems weird now but I’ll just keep going) every single body is a good and valuable and lovable body. So using words like “sticks” to describe thin bodies hurts too! 

It also hurts to be the only body in your family that doesn’t look the same. 

I think what you should do is sit your mother down and start with telling her you love her and you really value having a close and loving relationship with her. Tell her that you feel good about your body and for a 14yr old girl that is a HUGE accomplishment!! Ask her to respect that you work very hard at loving your body and that it hurts when she shames you and asks you to change. Tell her that even though you’re 14 and a lot of people feel like they have access to your body and your choices, you’ve chosen to love yourself and be happy and that you’d appreciate her help in fighting a negative body image and maybe you two could work on your self image together!  

Maybe you could give her some reading material like Marianne Kirby’s piece on Fat/Size/Body Acceptance 101

Just remember this: Parents just don’t understand. Sometimes. They mostly have the best of intentions but sometimes it is reallllly hard for them to understand that even though they gave birth to you and raised you, there comes a point where they have to acknowledge that you’re an individual deciding your own path. Sometimes we just have to learn to thrive without our parents’ approval and learn to block out their hurtful words.

You deserve to be happy with your body and there’s nothing positive about being shamed for your body!

Good luck Sugar!! xoxoxo

Anonymous asked: is there anything wrong with wanting to be skinny?

Isn’t this the loaded question?

No, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to live in the body you desire. 

I just hope for your own personal happiness, you examine why skinny is what you want.

Why not a happy body? Or a flexible body? Or a body that you honor and respect?

That’s why I push for Health At Every Size and also determining what health means to you on a personal level and honoring your body’s needs beyond societal pressures.

For me being healthy means respecting my body’s desires and limits and taking care of my mental and sexual health. 

Sometimes that means dancing and yoga. Sometimes that means cheeseburgers and vigorous masturbation. 

Most times it means all of the above :)

Do what feels best for you and remember the only one you owe anything to is yourself

xoxo

“
Right now, I’m 5’7” 171lbs. And I can eat like a fucking 16 year old boy, I’m flexible, I can run five hours without stopping, and I’ve got a good head on my shoulders. Tell me why I’m suppose to be ashamed of a few rolls when I’ve got so much more to offer than a perfect waist, or a flat stomach.

welcome.

Amen to that.

  (via redefiningbodyimage)

I know this is really radical for a lot of people, but we need to stop justifying our bodies and our habits to other people. This is worded in a way that apologizes. You don’t fucking owe anyone anything. 

And perfect waist is a really relative idea to me. My waist is really fucking perfect to me and its 42 inches…of FAT

I’m fat and I don’t even run when I’m being chased. I eat what I want because I honor my wants and needs because its my life and my body and I don’t need to explain that to anyone ever. I’m so incredibly worthy and so are you, you 5’7” 171lbs person who wrote this

(Quote reblogged from redefiningbodyimage)
“
anyone who sees stretch marks/scars/fat/etc and judges you for it is dealing with their own demons and you shouldn’t value their opinion

Jessica Jarchow (via verybusyandimportant)

it’s like looking at mountains, products of a geographical drama going on for as long as there has been a fucking crust on the earth, becoming disgusted by how craggy and solid and vast they are because you are so fleshy and vulnerable and quantifiable, and demanding mountains to change (not realizing they have been changing and will be changing and it’s out of your control).

so maybe then you just begin to de-value the mountains and litter all over them and camp on them and then start a fire and walk away, maybe you introduce invasive species because the integrity, the beauty of the landscape doesn’t matter to you because it won’t change for you and recognize you.

but it goes on being a mountain (or acne or moles or stretch marks or “discolorations” or fat or scars) because it is a moutain

to clarify, fat bodies aren’t mountains, but shaming stretch marks or scars or adipose tissue is shaming personal geography — you don’t wound the things you see, you wound the bearer of those things. you fuck with them by fucking with the vehicle they use to experience pain and pleasure or nothing, a vehicle with which they have every right to change or not change or hide or show without any regard for you. even if they’re seasoned enough to weather the judgment, other folks, who see you in the act of judging, may not be. degrading one person almost always degrades other people too, implicitly. there are always consequences.

(via heavyaura)

^^^^^^^

love this so much

(Quote reblogged from heavyaura-deactivated20111025)
“
The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: The body is a business.
The Body says: I am a fiesta.
Eduardo Galeano (via sisterkate)
(Quote reblogged from saydolly)
“
Those who subvert social norms are, ostensibly, people who have forgotten that they can be seen, publicly, at any time. Therefore, when they transgress social norms—by expressing physical affection for a person not visibly coded as the opposite sex, for example, or by being fat and rejecting social and bodily invisibility—they need to be reminded of this omniscient social gaze, and in the absence of institutional discipline, must be punished so they do not transgress again. This is the mechanism by which a dude who sees me in a vividly-colored dress, walking alone as though I either don’t know or don’t care that I am defying bodily norms, feels compelled to scream “UGLY FAT BITCH” at me. He is applying social discipline and teaching me a lesson: Everyone can see you, and your body and/or behavior are unacceptable.
So Michel Foucault and Jeremy Bentham walk into an elementary school cafeteria* via the Two Whole Cakes blog by Lesley Kinzel (via polianarchy)
(Quote reblogged from heavymuffintop)
“
Apologies should be saved for worthy occasions, like hurting someone’s feelings or using your roommate’s toothbrush on accident—not for existing. Life is too short. You can hate your body for all kinds of reasons; it’s a battle and a choice, to accept and embrace, or reject and hate. I know it’s more complicated than that, but to simplify things that’s how I feel, and right now I’m having fun!

Beth Ditto (via molix)

Words I ought to live by.

(via uphonies)

(Source: garish-ness)

(Quote reblogged from mekng-deactivated20110729)
“
Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery.
Hugo Schwyze (via polyphonicbellybutton)

(Source: cmykmind)

(Quote reblogged from thescarletwoman)
“
Commiserating with another woman about how we feel about our bodies is the kind of thing that we do every day, often without even thinking. It’s become polite, or expected—it’s just what you do. We can complain about our thighs, our dress size, our weight, or our diets to women we barely even know, but by virtue of the fact that we’re female, we know we’ll share the same feelings. It’s become such a commonplace that it can be unsettling to meet a woman who doesn’t feel the same way (how often have you or someone you know joked about “hating” another woman because she seems confident and comfortable with herself?). The problem is that we don’t often take a moment to think about how damaging this practice is. In accepting poor body image as a means through which we can bond and forge relationships, we’re acknowledging that it’s not important for us to make an effort to feel any better. It may be the status quo for us to feel badly about ourselves, but that doesn’t mean it’s right, and it doesn’t mean we should seek out relationships and experiences that enable us to perpetuate our feeling that way.

Emilie Littlehales (Creating Bonds Around Self-Love Instead of Negative Self Talk)

In accepting poor body image as a means through which we can bond and forge relationships, we’re acknowledging that it’s not important for us to make an effort to feel any better.

In accepting poor body image as a means through which we can bond and forge relationships, we’re acknowledging that it’s not important for us to make an effort to feel any better.

In accepting poor body image as a means through which we can bond and forge relationships, we’re acknowledging that it’s not important for us to make an effort to feel any better.

(via sexisbeautiful)

(Quote reblogged from sexxxisbeautiful)