Tangled Up In Lace

vzzzzzzz-deactivated20120707 asked: i never at any point have positioned myself as the "champion" for anyone. i've talked with, and listened to, plenty of people who don't support me- people who didn't make an enormous tumblr spectacle about me, which is incredibly immature in itself. the responses i posted were from trans WOC, the ones who the project i made were about. i think grrlyman handled it like an asshole. sucks that you're disappointed in me, but not much i can do about that at this point.

I don’t know you personally, I think we can agree on that at least :) But the way you’ve handled things w/grrlyman & the message I sent you have been really defensive & immature. You’re the one who posted his ask publicly, involving others..so to say that people want to make a spectacle out of you as if you weren’t hoping they’d do that to grrlyman feels insincere. From what I can gather from your posts and people’s responses, no one had issue with your work as it stood alone, but rather with your response to a simple question of whether or not you included trans woc in artwork about them  and then your defensiveness and immaturity to people feeling upset about your initial hostile response. Sometimes these interactions on Tumblr move beyond the initial point of dialogue because of how a person of immense privilege (a white cis queer like yourself and myself) responds to anything even resembling criticism. I mean, you could have just responded to him and said “Yeah, I did include trans woc in the process! Thank you for looking out for women! Do you have any other questions?” I doubt that would’ve been very hard for you and it would have saved you all this egg on your face

The thing is, I’ve been in your shoes sort of.  Enakai’s called me out before and through a series of messages back and forth, I took it upon myself to apologize, learn, apologize again, and use the opportunity to grow. 

I’m not better than you. I want to learn, better myself and grow. I messaged you because I was hoping to get that through to you and see if we couldn’t talk through to an understanding of where people who have issue with the way you handled the situation are coming from. 

You fucked up, but you can use that to learn. Posting passive aggressive stuff and throwing tantrums isn’t a cute look. 

Let’s build each other up and do better

Notes

  1. tangledupinlace posted this