I don’t identify as hard femme
because femme is already hard. Femme is not a word that needs a qualifier for toughness or strength or complexity. Femme means that we choose femininity. Femme means we take the parts of femininity we want, the parts that feel good, and leave the rest. Femme means that when I do things/wear things that are considered typically masculine by the rest of the world it’s femme because I’m doing it.
Maybe there’s a “hard femme” trend in response to the celebration of high femmes or pinup femmes in queer culture, but can’t we value other embodiments of femme without this redundancy?
Because when you say “hard femme” you dismiss the strength of femmes and femininity. You deny our queer history and the femmes who came before you. You want people to know that you’re not stereo-typically feminine - you’re not like those other femmes. & this is why I find “hard femme” a femmephobic term/identity.
I reblog from fuckyeahhardfemme when they post beautiful things. If folks come to femme identity because “hard femme” speaks to them in a way that femme doesn’t then that’s beautiful. Mostly I just want you to know our queer history. I want you to know what the rest of us actually mean when we say we’re femme. And also I’m just kind of like:
tried to edit this but deleted it instead, thanks tumblr. this really resonates with me and makes me feel understood and gives me strength, etc. i read banji-realness’ commentary and it made me think beyond my experiences and i’m grateful for that and all the femmes of all walks for their support, wisdom and for keeping me accountable.