bugsinricepudding asked: Hello lovely, I imagine this question has been asked of you hundreds of times but may I ask what you do when you're feeling down/triggered/insecure/unhappy/etc? Are there certain things you read, or do? Just looking for some tips on self-love for when you're feeling a bit blue :( You are such a wonderful and glowing human being, I figured you'd have some wonderful "go to" things to curb negative thoughts.
Well honestly, I first start out by throwing a tiny tantrum. Its important for me to just like, let myself act out and feel my feelings. I try not to let this go on longer than it needs to but for me, proper healing is all about honouring your anger/sadness/etc
THEN, I treat myself like I would treat a friend or lover who’s feeling those feelings. I give myself a little gift (maple donut, a new nailpolish, a bubble bath) and I tell myself how great, pretty, smart and charming I am. Then I ask for what I need. Almost all of the time that means something tactile. I like to be hugged and touched when I’m upset so that can mean cuddles from Majestic or a friend and if no one’s around, Ezra or Elliot bear the brunt of my smothering.
Maybe for you, asking for what you need is a shoulder to cry on or someone to watch a funny movie with you or just someone who will listen, but just make sure you vocalize what you need and you’re honest about what you’re feeling.
When I’m triggered, I write about it. I like to handwrite it because it takes longer for me to do that, giving me time to regulate my breathing and focus and also because it’s more physical and that’s important for me during those times. Also writing can give you something to look back on later. Also going for a walk can be nice, but also sometimes when I’m triggered the idea of going out into the world makes me gag. Baths are nice for this too.
Most of all, I just constantly remind myself to be gentle with myself during any of these feelings. Its general practice in this world to be hard on yourself and respond with shame and disappointment at being “weak” but that has literally never solved anything for anyone ever. So, even though its a bit hard to unlearn these responses, it’ll do wonders for you when you do. We all get sad, triggered, insecure, etc and the only way to combat those things is through love, gentleness and understanding
xxx
