if you can’t strike a minimum of 432 poses within the 4 minutes of “Say My Name” you shouldn’t be listening to that song
June 2012
I SEE YOU BIG GURL
AAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN
Hi Jessica, I wanted to pick your brain about the use of the word queer. Recently I went to a Her Royal Highness Dolly Parton concert (at which I just wept and had of body experiences) and I was trying to explain to a friend how diverse the crowd was. I said there were a lot of queer folk there and as soon as I said that I wasn't sure if it was ok. I don't I.d as queer and I know that word has been used to hurt but I felt it was the most all encompassing word. What are your thoughts? Xx
First what a lucky S.O.B. you are for seeing such a queen in action.
Second, this question has a lot of elements to it!
How did you know there were queers there? What do queers look like? Something to think about is how many people are erased by the idea that one has to look a certain way to be read as queer.
Also, I usually wait for someone to identify themselves before using certain words with them, but also the crowd probably did have a lot of queers in it because queers love Dolly Parton
I hope this isn't weird but I'm currently trying to become the next Patsy Cline and I totally wrote a love song about you. OH WAY IN THE WEST, WHERE IT'S THE BEST, THERE LIVES A FAT FEMME WHO'LL TAKE YOU UNDER ARREST. WITH LOVE AND HEART AND GLITTERY FLAIR, SHE'LL BLIND YOU WITH WISDOM AS SHE CURLS HER HAIR. SHE'S THE ONE WHO INSPIRES ME, THE QUEEN OF GLAMOUR, THE LADY OF LUXERY. it makes sense when set to music ahaha
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
you made me feel on top of the world this morning!!! I can’t wait to hear that song….ON THE RADIO PROBABLY
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I thought I would preface this with the fact that I look up to both you and Majestic like crazy. There is one thing that I kind of get sad about, though. Sometimes, it seems like you are just ever so slightly prejudiced against thin people. I was wondering what you would have to say about that?
Well I’m mostly laughing right now to be honest. I think thin people are fine. A lot of my really good friends are thin even. So that should clear things up for you.
But honestly, I love all bodies and I don’t know when I’ve ever given you the idea that I didn’t.
As a fat person, am I a little bored talking about thin bodies or giving them more space? Fuck yes I am.
Does that mean I don’t respect thin bodies? No, not at all.
Just because I spend the majority of my time trying to lift up fat bodies and make space for them, doesn’t mean I’m shaming thin people. It means, I exist in a world that gives thin bodies a lot of things it doesn’t give bodies like mine or POC bodies, disabled bodies, and otherwise “non-normative” bodies and that’s a load of shit I try to flush down the toilet every day
and that’s something I won’t apologize for and I hope you can understand why
HI Jessica! I've been a longtime follower of you and Majestic and think you two are awesome. So I'm 14 and today my mom was really getting on me about losing weight (she does this every week, even though I'm not technically overweight- maybe five or ten pounds, but no matter) and it really gets on my nerves because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for my family because they're all sticks, even though I love my curves... I don't know what to do!! Make them happy or be myself?
First, I’m sorry your mom is putting her body issues on you, that is REALLY hard for anyone, but especially a 14yr old socialized as a girl.
Second, there’s no such thing as overweight! There’s no perfect/ideal weight a person should actually be (I know but it’s true!) and even if there were a perfect weight, 5-10lbs is literally nothing. Alsoooo, if you’re happy with yourself, it doesn’t matter what your weight is!
Third, (numbering this seems weird now but I’ll just keep going) every single body is a good and valuable and lovable body. So using words like “sticks” to describe thin bodies hurts too!
It also hurts to be the only body in your family that doesn’t look the same.
I think what you should do is sit your mother down and start with telling her you love her and you really value having a close and loving relationship with her. Tell her that you feel good about your body and for a 14yr old girl that is a HUGE accomplishment!! Ask her to respect that you work very hard at loving your body and that it hurts when she shames you and asks you to change. Tell her that even though you’re 14 and a lot of people feel like they have access to your body and your choices, you’ve chosen to love yourself and be happy and that you’d appreciate her help in fighting a negative body image and maybe you two could work on your self image together!
Maybe you could give her some reading material like Marianne Kirby’s piece on Fat/Size/Body Acceptance 101
Just remember this: Parents just don’t understand. Sometimes. They mostly have the best of intentions but sometimes it is reallllly hard for them to understand that even though they gave birth to you and raised you, there comes a point where they have to acknowledge that you’re an individual deciding your own path. Sometimes we just have to learn to thrive without our parents’ approval and learn to block out their hurtful words.
You deserve to be happy with your body and there’s nothing positive about being shamed for your body!
Good luck Sugar!! xoxoxo
Remember how you made all these plans to get shit done but you didn’t really check in with yourself about how you were feeling (sad) so instead you did some shit and then spent the rest of the morning/afternoon picking your face, yelling at men and just thinking about masturbating but never really getting around to it?
“It doesnt matter what you look like, this is america! anyone can make it”
—cis white thin able bodied men (via coldeyesthatburn)
GLORIOUS GIRL GIANT: “Quantum femme is not linear, but the tallest free-standing structure... →
girlgiant.tumblr.com
“Quantum femme is not linear, but the tallest free-standing structure you’ll ever wrap your mind around; a psychotic frame of reference not contained in paper concepts such as time and space. After all, femme -like madness- is just a state of mind. Not only round in all the right places- film noir…
M.I.A. ft Missy Elliott, Rye Rye - Bad Girls (Switch Remix)
M.I.A. ft Missy Elliott, Rye Rye
M.I.A. gets fellow female rappers Missy Elliott and Rye Rye on a remix to her single “Bad Girls”
Download avail. at http://www.eatinghiphop.com/2012/06/21/m-i-a-ft-missy-elliott-rye-rye-bad-girls-swit/
So I can dL when I get home
Everything.
THANK GOD
Mad Men = Best Show About Whiteness
going through this new phase in my ~*~*b10gg1ng*~*~ where i tag things in a really inane way so that people who are into searching “nailpolish” and “passion” find things about me perioding all over blankets and getting loud over bob seger songs
Can we start referring to scowling and glaring as “the female gaze”?
because I would like that.
Picking off my nailpolish and perioding on the throw blanket
this is why we can’t have anything nice
After today let’s all be supportive of eachother going cold turkey from coddling masculinity. Remember just like cigarettes, you take it one day at a time and ask for the help you need! Chewing gum helps!
AIN'T BORN TYPICAL: Pro-tips →
quelola.tumblr.com
I’ve received a few asks about why I’m trying to tell people that they can’t mourn in reference to the photo from Baltimore Pride action I reblogged yesterday. I will never tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do in that regard.
I don’t think that my assertion that we all should think about…
Thank you for writing this and for everyone reading this I’m here to talk about whiteness, my comments yesterday, etc. don’t bother quelola with it she has better shit to do
how do we forgive our fathers
How do we forgive our Fathers?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.Do we forgive our Fathers for marrying or not marrying our Mothers?
For Divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?Do we forgive our Fathers in our age or in theirs
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?If we forgive our Fathers what is left?
— Dick Lourie
* This poem is read during the last scene in Smoke Signals. It was
originally published in a longer version titled “Forgiving Our
Fathers” in a book of poems titled Ghost Radio published by Hanging
Loose Press in 1998
Big love to everyone out there wading through their Daddy Issues today! Also lots and lots of love to single moms, you’re doing the work of angels without even half of the appreciation and I’M SORRY FOR THAT
JESSICA, hi :) i need some advice. i'm fat as all fuck and i've always been, literally my whole life. So for the past couple of years i've tried to go through life like you, loving and accepting of my "bawdy" (like you say). But lately i just feel so.. unbelievably disgusting. I guess what i'm asking is.. do you ever have days where you feel like me? Like, god wouldn't everything be easier if i was skinny? this always happens to me.. almost daily. So i need to know if you feel this way too.
:( BE NICE TO YOURSELF!!!!
Fatphobia is sooooo pervasive and it takes SO MUCH work to fight against the messages of body hate you hear almost everywhere.
Your body is powerful, beautiful and worthy of love and I could (and will) tell you that until my dying day but my words won’t mean anything unless you’re telling them to yourself and really trying to believe them too.
Loving myself was a choice. Whenever I hear myself or someone else say something fatphobic or body shaming, I stop everything and tell myself something that is TRUE about my body being worthy and hot and powerful. Because my body is worthy, hot and powerful and so is yours
You’ve been fat your whole life, wouldn’t it be so nice to love that part of yourself instead of using it to keep yourself down?
There are a lot of things that would be easier if I was skinny right now, I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass. Finding clothes would be easier, fitting into a world that wants you to remain quiet, small and well-behaved would be easier and taking a bath with another person would be easier, but I don’t want that life…I want mine. I’m fat and its a shame that the world works very hard to change me, but the tide is turning and I’m going to be ready for the fat stampede. I hope you’ll be there too Sugar, you deserve your days in the sun <3
Every time I see someone reblog my picture after they’ve removed my text (thereby removing my stories and experiences) I remind myself that that’s exactly how visibility and presentation work in the real world too so I really shouldn’t expect more from you Internet.
No matter how hard I work to present myself in a way that feels powerful and subversive, there will always be people who will strip me of that and put their own story and ideas on how they consume me.
That’s Identity, that’s Visibility.
But that’s okay with me because I don’t fucking do this for anyone but me anywaaaaayz
So…
Maine Coon sized hairball in the under the bed restraints. That’s not very sex posi of you Ezra
do you have hidradenitis suppurativa too? I have a mild case of it but it sorta makes me happy that I'm not alone.
You are for sure not alone!! Sooo many people have it in silence! Which is why we feel so much shame around it when we don’t need to!!
Be kind to yourself <3 xoxo
I don't identify as hard femme
because femme is already hard. Femme is not a word that needs a qualifier for toughness or strength or complexity. Femme means that we choose femininity. Femme means we take the parts of femininity we want, the parts that feel good, and leave the rest. Femme means that when I do things/wear things that are considered typically masculine by the rest of the world it’s femme because I’m doing it.
Maybe there’s a “hard femme” trend in response to the celebration of high femmes or pinup femmes in queer culture, but can’t we value other embodiments of femme without this redundancy?
Because when you say “hard femme” you dismiss the strength of femmes and femininity. You deny our queer history and the femmes who came before you. You want people to know that you’re not stereo-typically feminine - you’re not like those other femmes. & this is why I find “hard femme” a femmephobic term/identity.
I reblog from fuckyeahhardfemme when they post beautiful things. If folks come to femme identity because “hard femme” speaks to them in a way that femme doesn’t then that’s beautiful. Mostly I just want you to know our queer history. I want you to know what the rest of us actually mean when we say we’re femme. And also I’m just kind of like:
tried to edit this but deleted it instead, thanks tumblr. this really resonates with me and makes me feel understood and gives me strength, etc. i read banji-realness’ commentary and it made me think beyond my experiences and i’m grateful for that and all the femmes of all walks for their support, wisdom and for keeping me accountable.
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