January 2011
Play
Andy Warhol once said “Weight isn’t important the way the magazines make you think it is. I know a girl who just looks at her face in the medicine cabinet mirror & never looks below her shoulders, & she’s four or five hundred pounds but she doesn’t see all that, she just sees a beautiful face & therefore she thinks she’s a beauty. & therefore I think she’s a beauty, too, because I usually accept people on the basis of their self-images, because their self-images have more to do with the way they think than their objective-images do. Maybe she’s six hundred pounds, who knows. If she doesn’t care, I don’t.”
(via lustless, iheartowlsandwolfs)
I suddenly like the man so much more.
i want to just tell you that after seeing the doc and starting to follow you and other fa tumblrs, it has really helped me to accept who i am and what i look like. i use to be ashamed of being fat and i would try things that were not healthy in order to lose weight. now, i feel like it is ok to be who i am and to be confident. since i have done that, i have received so many compliments. thank you for helping me to realize that i do deserve better and that i can be a beautiful woman.
i just want to say thank you <3
ps- your style is fucking amazing!! i want your wardrobe lol
Proud of you too!!!!
xoxoxo
so hundreds of people have already expressed their admiration for you, but i was so moved by that documentary that i have to express mine as well. i really identified with what you said about not having a problem with your body yourself, but rather everyone else having an issue with it. i've always felt the same way, and it often makes me question whether i SHOULD love myself, if i even DESERVE to have self-confidence. you showed me that i do, indeed. thank you times a million.
Proud of you!!!!
Play
Play
December 2010
Play
“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.”
—Anaïs Nin (via twice1day)
my parents are on a wine slushie kick
like slushies of ice and wine.
to clarify, they’re 59 and 60.
wine slushies.
I can only *hope* I’m as inspired as your folks when I’m their age
i posted my top 10 outfits of 2010. →
musingsofafatshionista.com
Christina’s so beyond…I don’t know how many times I have to say it folks
Your cat looks like my cat!
LUCKY
My son should have been a model…sometimes I feel like his talent is wasted just being that handsome for only me…I think that’s why I feel compelled to share so many pictures of him.
Girl, I wanna love on you. ;)
Pardon my drunk, but truthful, tumblin
I’m here for the taking Sweetheart!
whats an " OKC bro"
EXPLAIN GIRL
thanks love you
Okcupid.com is a dating site that I use up some of my free time on interacting with girls and boys who don’t know how to romance me
Sometimes they know how….but they typically live at least 3,000 miles away
love you too Sugar
you use a lot of ableist language. surely you must be aware of this, what with the activist circles you move in on tumblr.
While I appreciate you attempting to make me aware of something like this, your message isn’t really helpful to me?
We’re all learning and I’m definitely making an effort but it would be more helpful and effective to me if you gave me something more concrete? It just feels like you want to slap me on the wrist without teaching me.
I apologize to anyone I’ve hurt
Why Deep Throating Will Make You a Better Person
Let’s face it, deep throating is an acquired skill and taste. It’s not the easiest thing to do and it demands commitment and dedication to get past the learning curve into the free-fall, bliss zone–even for you, the deep throater.
Yes. Deep throating can bring you bliss.It can also make you a better person. There are characteristics developed in the honing of the deep throat craft that are transferable life skills. Such as:
1) You Have to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone.Having a large cock pumping back and forth inside your throat does not seem like a natural act, I agree. You have to be willing to let go of preconceived notions and jump into unknown territory.
At first, especially with a well-endowed lover, deep-throating can be uncomfortable. The trick is to slowly, incrementally open your throat and get used to your lover’s cock residing there.
Like being in a new job, or a new mom, or any situation that is new and unfamiliar, you take one step at a time. You attend to the obstacles right in front of your path and one-by-one, you gain proficiency and eventually, mastery.
2) You Have to Focus to Be Successful.
With a hard, foreign object lodged in your esophagus, I guarantee that you will not be daydreaming about your grocery list, what to wear on Saturday night and whether Serena will choose Nate or Dan. (I think Dan. They’ve always been strong). All of your attention will be in your throat, on your lover’s cock, his hips and nothing but that very millisecond in time. Nothing else matters except how you will take your next breath.
This is good. This is the kind of focus that blocks out everything extraneous and zeroes in on what matters now. Again, an excellent life skill.3) You Have to Surrender and Let Go.
So far all of this sounds like a lot of work and discomfort, doesn’t it? And for what? Your lover may love being deep-throated, but will you love doing it?
Yes.
Here’s what to love about it. All of the things I mentioned are preparation for this next step, which is the reward. Once you’ve put in the work and gotten to a certain level of proficiency, you let go. Fully open yourself, open your throat, open your legs and allow whatever happens to happen. Your lover will find his own rhythm in your throat and you will receive him. Inch by inch you will surrender and allow him into you. The art of surrender is one of the most important tools you will ever, ever learn, especially as a woman.
A man’s strength and expression in the world is his masculine energy. He is direct, forceful, assertive and makes things happen. These are qualities of the masculine archetype. I believe that feminine energy is less successful by following the same trajectory–by imitating men. We get things done by opening, receiving, surrendering and fully inhabiting our femaleness, the archetype of our femininity. We ATTRACT. By embodying our beauty, our radiance and our softness, we achieve and bring things into our lives not so much by conquering, but by allowing.
By allowing his cock deeply into your throat, you’ll tap into the gift of letting go. You’ll learn how to receive good things into your life.
Who knew all the life lessons that could be learned through deep throating? Sex is a highly under-looked microcosm for life. You can learn a lot about how to live by how you fuck.- Kim Anami
I do not agree with this 100%, I mean huh?
I believe that feminine energy is less successful by following the same trajectory–by imitating men. We get things done by opening, receiving, surrendering and fully inhabiting our femaleness, the archetype of our femininity. We ATTRACT. By embodying our beauty, our radiance and our softness, we achieve and bring things into our lives not so much by conquering, but by allowing.
But deep-throating is a skill that can take you far.
Seriously?? Deepthroating will not fucking make you a better person….it will make you better at taking a dick all the way in your mouth. This is so misguided and just well, DUMB. Deepthroat if you want to deepthroat but seriously this whole thing, I can’t even
Same Old Madness [studio]
Ministry
Ministry - Same Old Madness
The best early 80’s MInistry song ever. An unreleased gem from 1982.
I love synth-pop Ministry.
Before I was 21 I would go party as this 80s club in Tijuana and GOD is this bringing back some memories
Hi!
You seem to have so many adoring followers, and I can see why! You're lovely and you're sharing your gorgeous self and gorgeous thoughts with us. How lucky that we have the internet so that you're able to touch the lives of so many people :)
I'm not just writing to tell you how great you are, though. My sense is that you, like me, are an activist whose primary forms of activism involve living your damn life in a way the world wants people to believe is impossible, having a heightened awareness surrounding pervasive ideas that are harmful to folks (of various experiences, not all of which are yours), and then posting about those two things. I hope you get a lot of satisfaction from those actions; you certainly get enough positive feedback to know that even those simple steps have an impact on others. I'm writing because I'm in a place of feeling very ineffectual and doubting my activism. Now, I realize that I am probably not reaching as many people as you are and that our arenas and experiences are different (though I think we are both in solidarity with one another), but I'm wondering if you ever feel this way. And if you do, what do you do about it?
I mean, I also just thought I'd reach out and say hey. I think if we lived in the same city we'd probably be friends by now.
Love and impact,
Enoch
Enoch you have a beautiful name!!!
I just watched your piece “Thirteen Years After the Kids at School Decided What My Parents Wouldn’t” too and its breathtaking. You have a strong selfassured voice and really that’s where I think so many new activists are lacking. I don’t mean to say you’re new but I guess I see so many try to reach out and don’t understand that their voice is cracking under the selfinflicted pressure of it needing to reach a certain amount. Does that make sense? I’m still waiting for my coffee to brew :)
For me personally there are definitely peaks and valleys in how I feel about the effectiveness of my activism. Its so overwhelming for me at times because of the realities that come with trying to unlearn people of something that goes way beyond just their upbringing. You and I are trying to change things people have thought for so many years and not only that but there is no singular issue either.
Once you begin to deconstruct one layer, you realize how many are still laying underneath that and some days that can be exciting and some days its just overwhelming and I feel like Sisyphus. If we talk about bodies we have to talk about the limits society gives us in regards to our gender,class, race, and everything else and all of a sudden you realize how much work we really have on our plates. I’m sure you know this, I think I’m just saying it for others :)
I feel a lot like you on my bad days. Some days I feel like I’m not doing enough and that the responsibility of changing the world that I’ve given myself is too overwhelming and feels futile. I just have to put it back in perspective and realize that I probably won’t change the whole world and that somedays are slow at the Banana Stand :)
You’re obviously doing amazing things and I think reaching out to other activists is always important. I mean the reaches of the internet are so vast and I didn’t even know you were out there! I’m lucky to know now and at this point we just give eachother a boost when we need it! I usually only feel down about my activism when I’m out in the “real world” because I’ve created a great support system online for myself. I just have to remind myself that you all ARE real, that my work is no less effective in this format and that outside I’m dealing with those not interested in changing so I’m essentially petting cats backwards out there :)
I encourage everyone reading this to follow boygirlboigrrrl ’s tumblr and watch the spoken word video I spoke of earlier :)
Enoch I’m excited to get to know you, bounce ideas off eachother and more importantly be a support system for eachother on bad days and good days <3
I hope this response was even a little bit fluid :) Please feel free to message me anytime here or we can speak through tangledupinlace@gmail.com :)
Big hugs and kisses to you!!! xoxoxo
Hi!
You seem to have so many adoring followers, and I can see why! You're lovely and you're sharing your gorgeous self and gorgeous thoughts with us. How lucky that we have the internet so that you're able to touch the lives of so many people :)
I'm not just writing to tell you how great you are, though. My sense is that you, like me, are an activist whose primary forms of activism involve living your damn life in a way the world wants people to believe is impossible, having a heightened awareness surrounding pervasive ideas that are harmful to folks (of various experiences, not all of which are yours), and then posting about those two things. I hope you get a lot of satisfaction from those actions; you certainly get enough positive feedback to know that even those simple steps have an impact on others. I'm writing because I'm in a place of feeling very ineffectual and doubting my activism. Now, I realize that I am probably not reaching as many people as you are and that our arenas and experiences are different (though I think we are both in solidarity with one another), but I'm wondering if you ever feel this way. And if you do, what do you do about it?
I mean, I also just thought I'd reach out and say hey. I think if we lived in the same city we'd probably be friends by now.
Love and impact,
Enoch
Enoch you have a beautiful name!!!
I just watched your piece “Thirteen Years After the Kids at School Decided What My Parents Wouldn’t” too and I’m its breathtaking. You have a strong selfassured voice and really that’s where I think so many new activists are lacking. I don’t mean to say you’re new but I guess I see so many try to reach out and don’t understand that their voice is cracking under the selfinflicted pressure of it needing to reach a certain amount. Does that make sense? I’m still waiting for my coffee to brew :)
For me personally there are definitely peaks and valleys in how I feel about the effectiveness of my activism. Its so overwhelming for me at times because of the realities that come with trying to unlearn people of something that goes way beyond just their upbringing. You and I are trying to change things people have thought for so many years and not only that but there is no singular issue either.
Once you begin to deconstruct one layer, you realize how many are still laying underneath that and some days that can be exciting and some days its just overwhelming and I feel like Sisyphus. If we talk about bodies we have to talk about the limits society gives us in regards to our gender,class, race, and everything else and all of a sudden you realize how much work we really have on our plates. I’m sure you know this, I think I’m just saying it for others :)
I feel a lot like you on my bad days. Some days I feel like I’m not doing enough and that the responsibility of changing the world that I’ve given myself is too overwhelming and feels futile. I just have to put it back in perspective and realize that I probably won’t change the whole world and that somedays are slow at the Banana Stand :)
You’re obviously doing amazing things and I think reaching out to other activists is always important. I mean the reaches of the internet are so vast and I didn’t even know you were out there! I’m lucky to know now and at this point we just give eachother a boost when we need it! I usually only feel down about my activism when I’m out in the “real world” because I’ve created a great support system online for myself. I just have to remind myself that you all ARE real, that my work is no less effective in this format and that outside I’m dealing with those not interested in changing so I’m essentially petting cats backwards out there :)
I encourage everyone reading this to follow boygirlboigrrrl ’s tumblr and watch the spoken word video I spoke of earlier :)
Enoch I’m excited to get to know you, bounce ideas off eachother and more importantly be a support system for eachother on bad days and good days <3
I hope this response was even a little bit fluid :) Please feel free to message me anytime here or we can speak through tangledupinlace@gmail.com :)
Big hugs and kisses to you!!! xoxoxo
Girl, I wanna love on you. ;)
Pardon my drunk, but truthful, tumblin
I’m here for the taking Sweetheart!
whats an " OKC bro"
EXPLAIN GIRL
thanks love you
Okcupid.com is a dating site that I use up some of my free time on interacting with girls and boys who don’t know how to romance me
Sometimes they know how….but they typically live at least 3,000 miles away
love you too Sugar
Your cat looks like my cat!
LUCKY
My son should have been a model…sometimes I feel like his talent is wasted just being that handsome for only me…I think that’s why I feel compelled to share so many pictures of him.
"Femmeness is femininity dragged through some mud, kicked in the stomach, given a good scrubbing, teased into a bouffant, doused in glitter, and pushed onstage in search of a spotlight."
- Lesley Kinzel
Making NYE Plans
- OKC Bro: I would love to ring in the new year tangled in you.
- well, we can play it by ear. ;-)
- ME: oh my silence wasn't anything important, i just ran off for a second
- OKC Bro: well, good, I was getting lonely
- ME: already? i find that hard to believe
- OKC Bro: oh, well, maybe you are just that good of company
- ME: i'm going to let you stroke my ego but only because you like it so much
- OKC Bro: I'll stroke more than that if you allow me.
- ME: well aren't you clever?
you are beautiful. i love your blog too. definitely have a little crush on you.
We all know I love a good internet crush <3
About that last picture of you: Those. Eyebrows! I used to get mine waxed but my skin is too sensitive. Seeing how gorgeous yours are reminds me that I need to do something to get mine under control. A friend suggested I try threading but that seems so very painful... do you have any suggestions?
I don’t really pluck my eyebrows! That’s my natural shape and I just darken them in with pencil :)
I heard threading wasn’t as bad as waxing!!
Do you have a certain method to your pin curls?
I find the messier I place them, the better they look.
No method!!! Getting the ends in is my main priority, I stick with that! I change widths and patterns all the time depending on my mood and energy :)
Attention Transguys:
If you’re buying a binder from Underworks (or anything else from there) the code:
aj4uw10will get you 10% off your order.
- nednalmichael.tumblr.com
About that last picture of you: Those. Eyebrows! I used to get mine waxed but my skin is too sensitive. Seeing how gorgeous yours are reminds me that I need to do something to get mine under control. A friend suggested I try threading but that seems so very painful... do you have any suggestions?
I don’t really pluck my eyebrows! That’s my natural shape and I just darken them in with pencil :)
I heard threading wasn’t as bad as waxing!!
Think women have achieved equality? Think again. →
blog.shrub.com
We Can’t Be Equal While:
- Men are the default and women are the Other (and therefore lesser).
- Being called “girly” or a “sissy” or “pussy” are some of the worst insults you can give a man.
- When a woman shows confidence in herself, she is said to “have balls”, or conversely she is a “man-eater”, “ball-buster”, or a “bitch” because she was “too” assertive.
- Men are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “effeminate” and women are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “masculine”.
- Many people get angry when a woman questions the intentions behind a “chivalrous” act from a man.
- There are men who refuse “chivalrous” acts from a woman, such as refusing to walk through a door that a woman holds open for them, while believing that it is rude for a woman to exercise the same right to refuse.
- Women can’t express anger without the very real fear of being accused of “hysterics” or being “shrill”.
- Women get scolded for “un-ladylike” behaviour: using coarse language, talking frankly about sex or other “impolite” topics, confidently voicing one’s dissenting opinion, etc.
- People continue to believe and perpetuate gender essentialism based on bad science or using actual studies to “prove” the innateness of gender roles when the study itself supports no such thing.
- For different-sex couples, women are expected to take their husband’s name, or at the very least hyphenate, but many men still balk at the idea of even considering adopting their wife’s name. If a woman decides to keep her name, both partners are interrogated and shamed by friends and family.
- For same-sex couples, people think it is okay to ask “who’s the woman/man of the couple?”
- Women are seen as the “gatekeepers” to morality/sexuality, charged with the duty of fending off the advances of men. If they fail then they were “asking for” it and/or are “damaged goods”. Their clothing/actions will always be questioned to see if they were “leading on” the man at all.
- Men are seen as “beasts” who are unable to control their “raging hormones” – which absolves them of guilt for “improper” sex (anything from date rape to sex outside of marriage) but also paints them as uncivilized brutes.
- Women are “sluts”, men are “players”.
- Women’s worth goes down according to how many sexual partners people think she has had.
- Men’s worth goes up according to how many sexual partners people think he has had.
- We live in a rape culture where many people continue to blame the victims of rape and domestic violence.
- We buy into the myth that all men (even minors) are, at all times, willing to fuck a “gorgeous” woman and any man who would pass up sex with a remotely attractive woman is deserving of ridicule.
- Wives/mothers are still expected to do most of the home/childcare, even if they have a job outside the home.
- Fathers/husbands are seen as bumbling dolts who are mentally incapable of cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, or any other traditionally feminine task.
- There are significantly more stay-at-home moms than there are dads.
- Men are expected to pay on a date, and some men expect women to put out for this “service”.
Read more @ source