it’s knowing the world never deserved you in the first place. anger for leaving those who still struggle to breathe without you. rereading your letters to me like it’ll change anything but the depth of my longing and the festering wounds of my grief. it’s that mariah won’t ever sound the same and how im blonde now and id give just about anything for a proper goodbye. it’s how much i love you and how you stuck like molasses to my bones
man i thought nothing exciting was going to happen to me today and then while vacuuming i found an ezra hairball from like…the middle ages? i’m guessing here, clearly i have no training in archeology but what an important discovery for humankind regardless
“Nature is no more innately female than it is congenitally evil. It seems that way (climate change, apocalypse) when man attempts to govern it too long. He begins to see himself in it—to personify it, for better or for worse—because the worst truth is that it does not see him at all.”—
“The feminist subject “in the room” hence “brings others down” not only by talking about unhappy topics such as sexism but by exposing how happiness is sustained by erasing the signs of not getting along. Feminists do kill joy in a certain sense: they disturb the very fantasy that happiness can be found in certain places.”—Feminist Killjoys (And Other Willful Subjects)
what’s that sound? is it a fucking hovercraft?? nah, that’s someone’s dell craptop singin her swan song. i am going to miss you diva and all of our fun kinky power games. i literally don’t know what im gonna do without you. rip pink satin slit
Just so we’re all clear. This blog and the bitch behind it have reached critical mass regarding any and all questions relating to fat being bad, fat having morality, reverse racism, anything demoralizing femininity or opinions from men.
Anything under that umbrella will get a voice clip of me cackling and hitting the delete button and a potty flushing.
My weight scares me. Only 15 and I'm 214. My father just passed away last month from health issues. The stretch marks on my body are mean to me. My friend is super skinny like not ever 95 pounds and she always jokes about my fat. It hurts. No guy wants to date me. I just feel alone.
Fuck if I had a dollar for every message I got like this. Well I’d be in the 1% for sure but my heart would still be broken.
I don’t always know what to say to 15yr olds. Shit is too real for people your age and I was IMPOSSIBLE to talk to when I was in your spot. So.
There’s about a billion and three things online about how to love your body because it’s yours, because you’re fat and you’re strong and you’re worth it. Tumblr is a literal goldmine for body acceptance and celebration. But be careful because goldmines have trolls inside and outside and not everyone who’s fat and tells you to love yourself is some kind of body loving genius who never fails. It’s hard to weed out those folks and I don’t have any advice on that. Spend some time finding bodies that look like yours and realize you’re not alone. Understand that it’s a process learning to find love for yourself and make that love strong enough to withstand the hate hurled at you.
That person is not your fucking friend. They are totally dealing with how saturated we are living in a world that hates ALL bodies, not just fat ones, but that is no fucking way to talk to a person you care about. That goes for anything you say about yourself too. Be better to yourself.
I don’t know how to say this without maybe coming off as dismissive, BUT everyone feels alone at 15. Respect the process and hold on to the fact that survival and aging means autonomy, more access to a bigger world where there are people like me who think you’re fabulous and worth it and men not boys who are capable of loving all of you.
You are going through A LOT of hurt right now. That pain is real and feeling sad and alone makes sense considering what you’re working through….time is going to heal a lot of those wounds and I’m going to keep you in my heart and send you the strength I have to spare.
I’m going to be 29 this year and I’ve been fat since I was 11. Most of those years were marked with self hatred, pain and really bad choices. But I made it out to the other side, still fat, even fatter to be real, and it’s fucking glorious over here.
I eat when I’m hungry and I eat what I desire.
I look at my naked body in the mirror and I cheese so hard my face hurts. I see beauty and strength in those pink and silvery stretchmarks.
I am loved so entirely by myself and others.
When someone calls me a fat bitch on the street or tells me I have a pretty face, I yell back and feel strong
Wow you're fabulous! (As if you don't know that.) I'm really sorry if I missed it but I read your FAQ and can't seem to find where you're originally from before you immigrated. Would it be invasive to ask? Also I don't have the money to donate but I would if I could, I'm an immigrant (Canada to Australia) and living expenses before citizenship along with citizenship/visa/residency costs and processes are a bitch among other things. Have a lovely day xx
Born and raised as a settler in California and I miss it every day! It’s great up north here, but there’s just nothing like that long stretch of the best coast.
Thank you for your words of support <3 Immigrating has been a stressful, sometimes defeating always expensive journey but I know I am one of the privileged ones taking this journey.
Do you have any advice on being a better mean fat girl? I tend to be real passive and avoid conflict :/
Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to think about what I actually mean when I tag things #meanfatgirls and I’m still working on it! Be patient with me!
A lot of it was just about what was going on in my personal life. I felt like I too was having trouble asserting myself so my needs could be met, stopping others from using and abusing me and finding myself in friendships where I held so much for the other person without reciprocation. I also started to feel like I spent a lot of time working to get folks more comfortable with me, my body and my ideas and focused on acceptance rather than mutual respect.
I don’t want to be accepted, someone giving up the fight to make me thin, straight and more docile….I wanted to be revered, leave people awestruck and that healthy dose of fear that forces people to think twice about the shit they say to me because of how I fearlessly defend and celebrate myself and others.
How does one become less passive? It’s hard to say exactly! For me anyways! I think I just started to realize standing up for myself and becoming my main advocate (because we are our main advocates always, we need to stay vigilant) was going to make me seem mean to anyone who wasn’t keeping my best interests in their heart. I’m mean in the sense that I had done enough tiptoeing around, quieting down and shrinking into the shadows and I reached my breaking point. No more Misses Nice Polite Well Behaved and Accommodating Fat Girl.
Have you had enough? Once you have exhausted that way of being, you’ll find a new path.
Me, I’m working on checking in with myself more often and being honest when that happens. Do I like the way this person is speaking to me? Do I feel good when I do this thing? Am I remembering to worship myself in public so that others may know how to respect and worship me too? Would I let someone treat my loved ones the way I’m being treated right now?
You and your body and your personhood are in a relationship of a lifetime. Are you doing what you can to make it a good one? How do you need support in getting there? Who in your life needs a timeout until they can show up and build you up?
You and I are reinventing ourselves! We can do it!!
At age thirteen, my mom knew I wasn’t straight She didn’t understand, but she had so much to say She sat me on the couch, looked me straight in my face And said you’ll burn in hell or probably die of AIDS It’s funny now, but at thirteen it was pain To be almost sure of who you are and have it ripped away And I’m sorry if it’s too real for some of you to fathom But hate for who you love is not exactly what you’d imagine And I guess it was disastrous Because everything that happened afterwards was just madness Locked away for two years to keep me on the inside Because she’d rather see a part of me die than me thrive And it’s tougher when it’s something you can’t deny And ignorance teaches us it’s something you decide You’re driven by your choices, an optical illusion Here’s to understanding it’s not always confusion
[Hook] And I can’t change Even if I tried, even if I wanted to And I can’t change Even if I tried, even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm
I’ve walked the halls of my school And I’ve seen kids hide behind walls and footballs and things like pride I’ve seen innocent children suffer beneath bruises Suffer beneath every single hand that chooses ignorance Fuck your religion Fuck constitutions Fuck superstitions There are no lakes of fire; they’re here on earth And the only thing to do is put love first
And so I stand for the boy who died by his hand To the sound of his father screaming “Woman loves man” "This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" And I stand for the girl with the cuts up her sleeve And the heart in her hand and a chip on her shoulder And I stand for it all until ignorance is over This is for you, for knowing who you are For never letting your magic outside of your heart Be you, be brave, and understand that things do change I accept you for you when I don’t understand And I love you for you because this is who I am I accepted you for you when I didn’t understand Now love me for me ‘cause this is who I am
Here’s a message to the people who just don’t get it: Love is love There is no difference Not a medication to fix it There is no prescription No rehab to visit It is not an addiction It’s love and it’s selfless It’s yours and everybody else’s So don’t badger and abuse the solemnly defenseless See us as yourself There’s no equality in difference Until we all get it, we’ll be drowning in the same blood Despite orientation, we all feel the same love We’ll be drowning in the same blood Despite orientation, we all feel the same love
We are boxed in and labeled Before we’re ever able to speak who we believe we are Or who we dream we’ll become Like drum beats forever changing their rhythm I am living today as someone I had not yet become yesterday And tonight I’ll only borrow pieces of who I am today To carry with me to tomorrow No, I’m not gay No, I’m not straight And I sure as hell am not bisexual Damn it I am whoever I am when I am it Loving whoever you are when the stars shine And whoever you’ll be when the sun rises So here’s to being able Here’s to love Here’s to loving just because Here’s to acceptance Here’s to never fearing the fear of rejection Here’s to love and never neglecting who you feel you are Here’s to bullies because beatings cannot last forever Heres’ to the moment you realize things do get better Here’s to the parents who will get it when its too late Here’s to second chances Here’s to new fate Here’s to every single moment you’ve ever had to hide you Here’s to the single star shining bright inside you, asking you to guide you Here’s to who you’ll be when you figure it all out Here’s to momentary doubt Here’s to feeling, because we all feel it the same Here’s to the moment that things will change Because we all feel love, we all feel it the same Here’s to love, here’s to change.